Temper, testosterone…

We have a lovely seven-year-old boy. He is generous-hearted, not too boisterous and has a strong sense of right and wrong.

Well, a strong sense of what he thinks is right and wrong, anyway.

Sometimes he suffers a disappointment, and especially when he’s tired, this can lead to a spike in his temper.  Generally a gentle soul, I have seen him kick his younger sister just because she happened to be there, even hit the seven-month-old baby because he feels wronged.

Once upon a time I read a book called Raising Boys, I think it was by Steve Biddulph?  Please correct me if I am wrong.  Anyhow, it talks about these periods in a boy’s life where his testosterone will spike.  I seem to remember one was at age 4 and the next was between 6 and 7.  And we all know about the one at puberty.

So, how do you get them to control this sudden violent urge?  We are trying to be understanding, but not hesitating to come down on him like a ton of bricks discipline-wise if he gets violent.  And I’m hesitant to say it, but if he hits the baby he gets a big smack as well.

What works?  What doesn’t work?  Of course, as parents, the only way we know if we’re successful in our parenting is 10-15 years down the line (and even then sometimes it’s just down to luck and the combination of your personalities).   There just aren’t any obvious answers are there?

Negativity Rules

Tell me, how do you get a 5-year-old girl to snap out of a frenzy of negativity without (a) pandering to their whims, (b) giving them attention when they are being rude and (b) being negative yourself?  Surely it’s the impossible task?

I’m in a really good mood this afternoon, in spite of this being the case so often at the moment.  I’m sure it has to do with tiredness, but as every mother of three will tell you, there is literally nothing else you can do between the school pickup and bedtime to speed things up any more.  Homework must be done, dinner must be cooked and eaten, babies must be fed, baths must be run, etc etc.  (Let’s just say that my needs are right at the bottom of the list and don’t get met until considerably later, if at all, but I am straying off the point here)

I could really do with some magic solution to get her to bed on time.  I’m sure it would make a difference.  However, for now, I have promised her last  10 minutes before bedtime on Club Penguin and I must relinquish control of my (yes, MY) laptop.  My needs last?  Amazing what we do for love.